Weekly Weigh In - 11 weeks post partum

Starting Weight: 36 weeks pregnant - with twins! 194 lbs
Last Week's Weight: 155.4 lbs
Current Weight: 158.4 lbs

Starting BMI: 32.3
Last Week's BMI: 265.9
Current BMI: 26.4

1. Reiterate my goal and where I stand in reference to this goal:

I'm 5'5", and my goal weight is 140 lbs. I have 18.4 lbs to go.

I have NO IDEA what happened this week.  The last 2 weeks I sat on my ass, ate what I wanted, and lost.  This week I ate well and worked out, and had a big gain.  I know it'll balance out, but for now, I'm confused.


2. Discuss what I am going to do to achieve my goals:

Progress on last week's activities:
Eat a healthy dinner 5 days a week: 5/5.

Healthier snacking: Apples, Chobanis, whole wheat crackers, baby carrots.  Check.

Use the treadmill or exercise DVD 3 times a week:  4/3.  Something in me just clicked, and I finally WANT to work out again.  I've been running on the treadmill, and it just feels so good to be moving my legs again.  To keep myself motivated, I've signed up for a 5k April 14th.  That will be my first race in over a year!

Activities & goals for this coming week:
Eat a healthy dinner 5 days a week.

Healthier snacking.

Use the treadmill or an exercise DVD 3 times a week.
I decided to start using our grocery stores online delivery service. I had been spending my "free" time Friday evenings doing the grocery shopping, but this way I'll actually get to use this time on myself, and since I won't be wandering the aisles it'll cut down on impulse shopping.

I'm giving up junk food for Lent. Say what you will, us Catholics seem to have the market cornered on guilt. If I were to say I was just giving up junk food in general, I'd be eating Oreos by the time Ellen was on this afternoon. But giving it up for Lent? That's a whole different ballgame. I swear it doesn't even taste as good if I'm cheating during Lent.

On-going Life Style Goals:
Drink 8oz every time I sit down to nurse or pump:
Not a problem.

Make healthier meal and snack choices:
The food is all purchased and in the house, I just need to get better about choosing them!

Make time for myself:
In order to be a good mom to my kids, I need to take care of myself. I know this, but I'm having a hard time executing it.

Post a (reasonably healthy) recipe that I've tried, a cooking tip, a new idea for working out for people to try, a photo update of my weight loss, or anything else I feel like sharing.
I feel like I'm probably the last person in the world to try this, but I had a green monster smoothie yesterday and it was actually really tasty!  I added a little extra peanut butter, which actually turned out to be a mistake, but you can't taste the spinach at all.  I'm definitely adding more today!

Exercise Fail

I have never been an exercise class kind of girl.  I know Zu.mba, Card.io Pump, barre classes, etc have been all the rage, but I just can't get into them.  I've tried a few here and there, but I much prefer a pair of sneakers and the ground beneath my feet. 

This year, however, with 2 newborns in the middle of winter, I knew the open road would have to wait.  And since there's only so much I can take of the Dreadmill, I asked my husband for a Zum.ba disc for our game console for Christmas.  I figured everyone in the world raves about the classes, how hard can it be?

Hard.  OMG, so ridiculously difficult.  I am easily one of the least coordinated people you'll ever meet, but I figured that wouldn't be an issue with a game.  No class to keep up with, no teacher correcting my form.  Unh uh. They start with a simple back and forth step, and before you know it they've got you crossing feet and moving around, and I'm still trying to master the back and forth.  I looked like one of the dancing hippos in Fanta.sia.  Except even they would've done better than me.

So back in the box it goes.  And back to the treadmill I go.  How many days till spring?

PAIL Blogroll

As a new blogger, it's tough finding my spot in the blog world. As a new mom after infertility?  Nearly impossible.  I don't always feel like I fit in with the typical "mommy bloggers", having taken a completely different path to motherhood.  But I also find myself treading lightly among the infertility bloggers, because it wasn't that long ago I was in their shoes.  I remember, all too well, how much it hurt to be surrounded by pregnant women and moms.  As happy as I was when someone who had struggled with infertility brought home a child, there was always a feeling of "why not me?  When is it my turn?"

Enter Elpheba and Josey, 2 blogs I discovered during my pregnancy this summer.  While I didn't start my blog until very recently, I was an avid reader of their stories.  Our pregnancies all followed similar timelines, and I enjoyed keeping up with their journeys.  Now that their daughters are here, even these seasoned bloggers found themselves in the same gray area I did - not a mom, not currently struggling with infertility. 

And there came the idea for the PAIL blogroll.  Pregnant/Parenting after Infertility and Loss.  A group of bloggers all in the same middle place, finding other women to identify with.  I think it's a great idea, and it's a community I'm very excited to be a part of.  Thanks ladies.

Edited to add: And I have no idea how to move that gadget to the sidebar.  Any ideas?  Seriously, blogging for dummies over here.

He don't use jelly

And that is why you can NEVER leave the cat unattended.  After changing diapers yesterday I look over and see him EATING the Vaseline I left uncapped.  The same Vaseline I smear on the babies bums, and he's eating it.  For the record, I promise he had a full bowl of kibble at the time.  Apparently petroleum jelly just tastes better?

And yes, keen observers, your eyes don't deceive you.  That's a Christmas knick knack hanging from the closet door.  I've been a little busy these days.

Wednesday Weigh In - 10 weeks post partum

Starting Weight: 36 weeks pregnant - with twins! 194 lbs
Last Week's Weight: 156.8 lbs
Current Weight: 155.4 lbs

Starting BMI: 32.3
Last Week's BMI: 26.1
Current BMI: 25.9

1. Reiterate my goal and where I stand in reference to this goal:

I'm 5'5", and my goal weight is 140 lbs. I have 15.4 lbs to go.

It seems to be an ongoing theme, but I'm shocked that I lost this week.  I'm still not always making the best choices with food, but I guess I am often enough to balance out the MANY cheats.


2. Discuss what I am going to do to achieve my goals:

Progress on last week's activities:
Eat a healthy dinner 5 days a week: 4/5.

Healthier snacking: Not so much.  It's the snacking that's killing me.  We don't have much junk food left in the house, so at least there's not much left to tempt me.

Use the treadmill or exercise DVD 3 times a week:  2/3.  We've been having an unseasonably warm snap, so I was able to take the babies for a couple of walks, and I'd say we went for about a mile each time.  It's a pretty flat route, but I'm obviously getting an added workout pushing the double stroller.


Activities & goals for this coming week:
Eat a healthy dinner 5 days a week.

Healthier snacking.

Use the treadmill or an exercise DVD 3 times a week.
I decided to start using our grocery stores online delivery service.  I had been spending my "free" time Friday evenings doing the grocery shopping, but this way I'll actually get to use this time on myself, and since I won't be wandering the aisles it'll cut down on impulse shopping.

I'm giving up junk food for Lent.  Say what you will, us Catholics seem to have the market cornered on guilt.  If I were to say I was just giving up junk food in general, I'd be eating Oreos by the time Ellen was on this afternoon.  But giving it up for Lent?  That's a whole different ballgame.  I swear it doesn't even taste as good if I'm cheating during Lent.

On-going Life Style Goals:
Drink 8oz every time I sit down to nurse or pump:
Not a problem.

Make healthier meal and snack choices:
The food is all purchased and in the house, I just need to get better about choosing them!

Make time for myself:
In order to be a good mom to my kids, I need to take care of myself. I know this, but I'm having a hard time executing it.

Post a (reasonably healthy) recipe that I've tried, a cooking tip, a new idea for working out for people to try, a photo update of my weight loss, or anything else I feel like sharing.
Menu planning is obviously a huge factor in weight loss.  I found this site on Pinterest, and I think I'm going to start using meals from there on the nights I'm not using meals from our freezer.

Tuesday Truths

Until I get in a groove with blogging, I'm going to stick to theme posts.  Tuesday Truths, Weight Loss Wednesday, etc.  My inspiration is sorely lacking these days.

- I love having the twins in their nursery!  We've really been working on establishing a bedtime routine with them, and it's awesome.  This weekend my husband and I were actually able to sit down and have dinner together for the first time since I was discharged from the hospital!  Yay for quality time!

-My cat is driving me crazy these days.  He was our baby for so long, and honestly, most of the day I can't stand him.  He needs SO much attention, and if he doesn't get it, he demands it.  Crawling all over me, knocking stuff over.  He seems to pick the moment when he knows I'm on the brink, and that's when he does that stuff.  Such an ass.  Seriously, everyone always told us "wait till you have kids", and I SWORE he would always be my furry little baby.  Ha!

-I have always been a beer/martini girl, but I've gotten into Cupcake Riesling lately and I LOVE it!  So tasty, and pretty cheap.  I may or may not have had 2 glasses last night, which is a lot for this girl!

-I'm getting frustrated with my lack of motivation to work out these days.  Today I had the opportunity to from 7-8, I had planned for it, I was ready....and instead I hit snooze a million times, woke up at 8 and ate a handful of M&Ms.  What has happened to me?!?!  2 years ago, I was running a 5k every week and training on my off days.  New Years Day 2011 I woke up at 7am and ran a 4 mile road race.  Valentine's Day last year?  We ran a couples race, 5k for me, 6 miles for him.  These days I consider it an accomplishment if I walk to the mailbox.  In my defense, it is a rural mailbox, maybe a quarter mile from my house, but still.  It's a far cry from where I was.

-I can't wait to take the kids to Disney next year.  I've never been a Disney fan, but now that I'm a mom I can't stop looking up things to do there with a toddler, checking out Etsy for personalized "My 1st Disney trip" shirts.  Mommyhood definitely changes you!

Brain Dump

I still can't get into a groove with this blogging thing.  I am always having a running commentary in my head, thinking how I need to write all these things down, but put a computer in front of me, and my brain turns to mashed potatoes. 

Babies had their 2 month appt on Friday.  R (my girl) weighed 8 lbs 12 oz, and C weighed 9 lbs 2 oz.  Not bad considering they were barely 5 lbs at birth!

I had a cold about a week and a half ago, and since that started my supply is way down.  I've been drinking lots of fluid, eating oatmeal, I did the Reg.lan protocol, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.  When I would pump at midnight, I used to get anywhere minimum 12-14 oz, that one pump session would be enough for all the bottle feeds for the next day.  Last night I got 5.  I was so irritated that I spent a half hour and only got 5 oz!  I do have a decent freezer stash - around 200 bags, each with 4-8 oz of milk, but I know once we break into that it'll deplete quickly.  The babies have been on a combo of breast milk and formula since their NICU days, so by giving them both hopefully I'll be able to continue giving them some breast milk for a longer period.  Not how I pictured things, though.  I had hoped to exclusively breastfeed for at least 6 months, but if my supply doesn't pick up soon, this will be coming to an end soon.  I know some people have had luck with Fen.ugre.ek, but my doctor specifically told me not to take it, because herbs aren't regulated like meds, and honestly, that was something I wasn't totally comfortable with anyway.

We finally moved the babies into the nursery this week!  And we have real smiles!

This was not a good week, diet wise.  I need to start requesting that people not bring over junk food.  It's hard, though, if someone is nice enough to bring us dinner, giving me a night off from cooking, I feel rude being picky about what they bring.  And if they show up with blueberry pie (a HUGE pregnancy craving), my willpower is completely shot.  I hate throwing food away, too.  I hadn't allowed myself to buy new clothes since the babies were born, because I wanted to have that motivation to lose the weight, but I finally caved this weekend.  I just need to get out of yoga pants, and at 2 months post partum I wanted to cry everytime I pulled on maternity jeans.  But ladies, I had to buy a size 10. I've never been this large.  I'm comfortable in a 4, I'll allow myself to go up to a 6, but I've never been in double digits before and I hate it.

I don't want to end this on a negative note.  We're going to Disney next January!  I have never been a Disney fan, but I am so, so excited to take the babies it's not even funny.  They'll be just over a year, so we won't be able to do a ton with them, but my sister is getting married there, and if we're going, why not make a trip out of it.  I'm already researching traveling/Disney with toddlers!

Weight Loss Wednesday

*So it turns out I'm actually 9 weeks post partum, not 8 like I originally thought.  What can I say, motherhood has fried my brain to the point that I actually forgot a week of my life.  Lovely.  :)

Starting Weight: 36 weeks pregnant - with twins! 194 lbs
Last Week's Weight: 159 lbs
Current Weight: 156.8 lbs

Starting BMI: 32.3
Last Week's BMI: 26.5
Current BMI: 26.1

1. Reiterate my goal and where I stand in reference to this goal:

I'm 5'5", and my goal weight is 140 lbs. I have 16.8 lbs to go.

I'm shocked I lost this week.  I'd been sick over the weekend, so there was no exercising whatsoever.  I also didn't eat great, but because I was sick I didn't eat much, so I suppose that's where it balanced out.  I just hope it's not water weight.



2. Discuss what I am going to do to achieve my goals:

Progress on last week's activities:
Eat a healthy dinner 5 days a week: maybe 3/7?  I didn't track this week, and I don't remember what we ate most nights.
Healthier snacking: Yes and no.  I ate several apples and Chobani's this week, but my dad had M&M's made with the babies faces, and I ate TONS of those as well.

Use the treadmill or exercise DVD 3 times a week:  Zero.  But we had a warmer day Tuesday, so I took the babies for a walk, probably a little over a mile.  It's something.


Activities & goals for this coming week:
Eat a healthy dinner 5 days a week. 

Healthier snacking. 

Use the treadmill or an exercise DVD 3 times a week.

On-going Life Style Goals:
Drink 8oz every time I sit down to nurse or pump:
Not a problem.

Make healthier meal and snack choices:
The food is all purchased and in the house, I just need to get better about choosing them!

Make time for myself:
In order to be a good mom to my kids, I need to take care of myself. I know this, but I'm having a hard time executing it.

Post a (reasonably healthy) recipe that I've tried, a cooking tip, a new idea for working out for people to try, a photo update of my weight loss, or anything else I feel like sharing.
I don't have any recent side view pics, but I thought a before would be interesting to see...this was 5 days before my C-section.  2 babies take up a lot of room!

Stop feeling guilty:
I need to realize that I will be the best mom to my family when I let go of this idealized few of motherhood, and do what's best for me and my kids, in this moment.

No Sleep Till Brooklyn!

Last night was a looooong night.  Typically in the evenings I sleep from when my husband gets home until midnight, then I'm on call for the night feedings.  Last night by the time I finished dinner, pumping and showering, it was 8pm by the time I got to bed.  Which of course started a horrible cycle of, "if I fall asleep now, I can get 4 hours of sleep.  If I fall asleep now, I can get 3.5 hours", etc etc.

Midnight hits before I know it.  I wake up, feed the little man, pump again.  (My husband had already fed the lady.  Something about the overnight, it's like they've never seen a boob before, so we stick with bottles for those feeds)  Back to bed a little after 1.

2:10am  The Lady is up.  Demanding to be fed.  I prep a bottle, she takes an ounce.  One single ounce, and she's out cold. So I put her back to sleep, and since I'm up, I wake up her brother to feed him.  To his credit, he eats 2 ounces.

3:11am  She's up again.  I tried seeing if she just needed some comforting, but no, she was hungry.  So I feed her.  Another ounce, and she's out again.  So I lie her back down (they still sleep in our room), and attempt to go back to sleep.

3:38am  Wide awake and screaming.  Her diaper is dry, I tried burping her, nothing.  We walk around the house for a while, and as long as we're moving, she's fine, but the second I stop, she's screaming again.  I attempt to nurse her, and she eats for about 10 minutes.  Falls asleep, but once again, as soon as I move her, she's up and howling.  At this point it's now 4:30.  I've given up on the bedroom, figuring there's no sense for me and my husband to both be awake.  So she and I go downstairs and just sack out on the couch.  She FINALLY falls asleep.

6am  Aaaaand they're both awake. 

7am  Despite my attempts to convince him to call out and stay home, my husband leaves for work.  So now it's just me and the babies for the next 11 hours and counting.

I don't mean to bitch.  I know this is typical newborn behavior.  I was spoiled, though, last week they'd actually sleep for about 4-5 hour stretches at night so I was able to get some decent rest.  They haven't really done this up all night business since they were still in the NICU.  Exhausted as I am, I'm not complaining, I swear.  For years I wished to be up all night with a crying baby, instead getting a full nights' sleep only to wake up to another negative test.  I just didn't realize how tired I'd be.  Let's hope this was just a bad night and not a new pattern setting in.

I do love her little face!  Who else could be so cute at 3am?!?!

Weekly Wednesday Weigh In - 7 Weeks Post Partum

Starting Weight: 36 weeks pregnant - with twins! 194 lbs
Last Week's Weight: 158.6 lbs
Current Weight: 159 lbs

Starting BMI: 32.3
Last Week's BMI: 26.4
Current BMI: 26.5  Yikes.  That's the first time I've calculated those numbers.


1. Reiterate my goal and where I stand in reference to this goal:

I'm 5'5", and my goal weight is 140 lbs.  I have 19 lbs to go.

I'm having a really tough time taking the rest of this weight off.  Between feeding the kids, settling them to sleep, pumping, I have about 20-30 minutes before they wake up and want to eat again.  I really can't seem to find time to shower, let alone exercise during the day.  If it weren't winter, and 20 degrees out, I'd take them on a walk to settle them, but I obviously won't risk getting them sick so I can exercise.  I have a few hours in the evening when my husband gets home, but that's my time to sleep.
I also have always had a problem with turning to food when I'm stressed, and that's especially been a problem these days.



2. Discuss what I am going to do to achieve my goals:

Progress on last week's activities:
This is my first week participating.

Activities & goals for this coming week:
Eat a healthy dinner 5 days a week.  There's nothing wrong with the occasional pizza night, but I need to plan for it ahead of time, and not just dial for take out because I've had a long day.  I have a freezer full of meals I made during my pregnancy, I need to start utilizing them.

Healthier snacking.  Again, we have the healthy foods in the house, I just need to grab an apple or a yogurt, and not the Hershey Kisses.

Use the treadmill or an exercise DVD 3 times a week.  I think this is an attainable goal.  My husband is home on the weekends, my mom usually stops by after work a few afternoons a week.  I need to take advantage of that time and work out.

On-going Life Style Goals:
Drink 8oz every time I sit down to nurse or pump:
 Not a problem.

Make healthier meal and snack choices:
The food is all purchased and in the house, I just need to get better about choosing them!

Make time for myself:
In order to be a good mom to my kids, I need to take care of myself.  I know this, but I'm having a hard time executing it.

Post a (reasonably healthy) recipe that I've tried, a cooking tip, a new idea for working out for people to try, a photo update of my weight loss, or anything else I feel like sharing.
I'm having a rough time with my weight loss.  Any tips or advice would really be appreciated.

Stop feeling guilty:
I need to realize that I will be the best mom to my family when I let go of this idealized few of motherhood, and do what's best for me and my kids, in this moment.

ABCs of Me

A. Age: 30
B. Bed Size: king
C. Chore you Dislike: It's a toss up between changing the litter box and folding the laundry. I'll iron anything, but there's something about folding I find absolutely tedious.
D. Dogs: someday.  Right now just a cat, who thinks he's a dog.
E. Essential to Start the Day:  Coffee, without a doubt.  I don't even sip it these days, I just chug it like a giant steaming .shot.
F. Favorite Color: to wear, pink.  To decorate with, browns and deep reds.
G. Gold or Silver: silver or white gold.  Yellow gold looks awful with my coloring.
H. Height: 5'5"
I. Instruments you Play(ed): piano, once upon a time. 
J. Job Title:  baby sitter to drunk college students, waitress serving turkey sandwiches to people complaining of nausea/vomiting...otherwise known as Emergency Dept nurse
K. Kids: Two month old twins, a boy, C, and a girl, R
L. Live: New England
M. Mom's name: Elizabeth
N. Nicknames: Meg, Megs...original, I know
O. Overnight hospital stays: just when my kids were born
P. Pet peeves: unsolicited advice.  If I don't ask for your opinion, it means I don't want it.  And just because you have an opinion doesn't mean you get a vote
Q. Quote from a movie: "The sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto Bismol".  Love Steel Magnolias.
R. Righty or Lefty: righty tighty
S. Siblings: a brother, E, 27, and a sister, R, 24
T. Time you wake up: if I'm lucky, 6am. 
U. Underwear: clean.  Seriously, I'm not picky beyond that.
W. What makes you run late: so cliche, but the kids!  It's impossible to get both of them wrangled and out of the house on time!
X. X rays you've had: ankle, tailbone, uterus (HSG), dental
Y. Yummy food you make: everything.  Seriously, I'm a kick ass cook.
Z. Zoo animal you love: Elephants!

After Years of Blog-stalking...

...I've decided to start my own.  I'm a new mom of twins, leaving behind my life of weekly pedicures and last call after work, to staying home with my babies, covered in spit up and surviving on 4 hours of sleep a day. 
I also want to use this blog as a way of being accountable for my weight loss.  I gained 41 pounds during my pregnancy, and I've lost 30 so far.  Diet and portion control I can handle, but I'm having a tough time getting back into an exercise routine.  Any abdominal muscles I once had have been destroyed between my pregnancy and c-section, so I'd love some advice from anyone who's been in my situation!